"I feel like I am losing my mind"

she said to the campus security officer as she recounted the details requisite for reporting the leather jacket stolen. She had been in or around her office from 2:30-3-ish until 4:30, when she locked the door and went to a meeting -- without the jacket. She had worked in the office from about 6 until 7, when, in packing up to go home, she noticed the jacket missing. The department had been scoured. She had even checked her car. "Black leather jacket. That explains it," the security officer pronounced. "Christmas. People need extra cash, and that can be turned around quickly for an extra 50 dollars." It did make sense, but then why didn't the thief go for the wallet and the digital camera that were right in her bag, sitting on the chair? Why just the jacket? It did not make sense. She was losing her mind.

She had bought the jacket at TJMaxx in Ithaca. It was part of her effort to grow a thick skin. There were the Machiavellian machinations of the job she had left, and a year of anxiety around that and the prospect of finding another job. There was the disfunctional atmosphere of the department she found herself in, not to mention the glimpse of the girl sprawled limply on a rock at the base of the gorge. And then there was the event of September 11. She had found herself wanting a leather jacket -- which incredibly cheap at TJMaxx. And then she wanted leather pants. She supported the NYC economy by buying them on a massive sale at the Kenneth Cole store at Grand Central, at a time when the faces in the city looked more and more shell shocked the further south you went. And then she had found it: her thick skin.

The loss of the jacket was not so bad though. It was stylish and looked good -- it was a nice jacket. But she didn't really need that extra layer of flesh anymore. She had other jackets.

The jacket was found the next day in the common room of the department. This was certainly good, but she had looked there, hadn't she? There was this problem of losing her mind. What sort of clothing can solve that? A good hat?

[ weather report: grey, with a light wind. was raining earlier, but now its dry. If I didn't know better I would say it was threatening snow.